One of the reasons why I can’t get anything done during the day is because I can get sucked into reading pretty much anything on the web. Last night I rented the movie Monster House. I really enjoyed it. It had a lot of adult humor, but not in that Shrek sort of way where you feel like they’re trying a little too hard . . . it was a smart script for a movie that just happened to be animated.

Anyway, I went to Rotten Tomatoes today to see what critics had to say about it, and I started reading the comments on the bulletin board. There are few things more hilarious than people getting into arguments on bulletin boards, particularly when the subject is something as inane as Monster House. The conversation starts with a fairly innocuous, if grammatically-challenged comment from a concerned citizen we know only as AJ97:

alot of parents are complaining about how bad this movie is because it scares their children…… whatever

i thought the movie was a bit harsh on fat people ….. fat people are big evil and mean and turn into haunted houses… the group of friends that i went with all thought it might have been bad for kids…. but hey we are all thin and have no kids…..

the only reason i bring it up is because none of the politically correct parents on here have said anything about it

Another concerned citizen, who likes to be called “Fireyhope,” disagrees.

no you misunderstood, Fat people aren’t mean, the only Reason they the house was haunted in the first place was because of the kids and how the kids did evil things to the girl in the first place. She just had a grudge because of the kids, and kids shouldn’t be making fun or throwing things at fat people anyways and i have seen tons of kids making fun of fat people which aren’t cool.

the reason why it scares there kids is because the movie is aimed more toward to teenagers then anything, it’s definately not suitable for ages 10 and under unless your kid can already handle gory and or pg13 horror movies.

AJ97 considers this comment very carefully.

I do understand why she is that way but…
I think children would have problems figuring out what they are trying to say.. i do not think the fat lady has any dalogue except screams, she starts on in a cage in a freak show… i think it would be difficult for children to get any other idea than fat people are scary- no time is really taken to develop the character…. this is not a sympathetic character

I think we are on different wave lengths.. you think this movie is scary but can not see how kids could get the wrong message about fat people…

stop poluting this thread with your theories on why it is such a scary movie… well at lest this time you say it is more aimed at teens…. last post you wrote said it was geared toward adults… and how deep it was

Aha! The plot thickens! So AJ97 and Fireyhope have a previous relationship! Also, please note that AJ97′s font mysteriously turned white for this last comment, making it practically illegible.

At this point, another contributor known as “Maven” feels it is time to speak up.

AJ97, stop being an idiot. If that’s possible for you. This is a message board- people are free to express any opinion they so desire.

Ooh, what do you have to say to that, AJ?

coming from one of the biggest a__holes on this website…. i will take this as a compliment

SLAM! It’s getting HOT in here! I think I need some . . . Fireyhope!

got i hate your white font . . . the theme of the movie is horror and so is monster house, A-Team is not a horror themed movie therefore it doesn’t apply.

. . .

Oh so your telling me that kids can’t tell Throwing Things at people are bad at the first place? that the things portrayed in the movie aren’t well done?
you clearly have no idea what you are talking about.

(Ellipses mine.)

Well, that’s clearly the last word on the subject. Aside from the incomprehensible “A-Team” comment, Fireyhope has clearly trounced he competition. This battle is ov . . . OH SNAP NO IT ISN’T HERE COMES AJ97 WITH THE SMACKDOWN!

the white was not my idea…. just did it

so i am growing tired of this debate… we may need to agree to disagree…. but here is the final argument

PG- prental guidance suggested. some material may not be suitable for children. this signifies that the film rated may contain some material parents might not like to expose ther young children to- material that will clearly need to be examined or inquired about before children are allowed to attend the film.

Intelligent. Mature. The kind of reasoned debate we’ve come to expect from AJ. As Fireyhope knows however, some topics are simply too important to be settled with civilized debate. Topics like Monster House.

MOVIES AREN’T MADE TO BE REALISTIC! this is such a rediculous argument, why should kids be scared of it? WHY THE HELL SHOULD PEOPLE BE SCARED OF THE RING? that makes no sense

SMACK! SMACKITY SMACK! What you got to say to that, AJ, you beeeyaaaaatch?

you are a pain….

if the rating is wrong ….. tell me what does not fit into the pg rating? stop bringing up Japanese movies and actual horror movies… stick with this animated childrens movie… please

Chronicles of Narnia…. nc 17- promotes children staying in the closet.(might
be a gay theme….Lions are scary and dangerous…especially at
the right camera angle… promotes religious themes….people
may be offended
and so on

so … this is it… i give up…
one more thing

Tell me were you scared of It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown….
i know that the idea of a gigantic pumpkin is scary…

Clever. You see how AJ does that? How he claims to give up, then comes back for that one little jab? A true master of rhetoric. I don’t think Firey is about to take this one lying down . . .

your’e a fool, THE THEME OF THIS MOVIE IS A MONSTER FOR GODS SAKE!

THIS MOVIE HAS TONS OF HORROR ELEMENTS LIKE J-HORROR MOVIES AND AMERICAN ONES.

THIS MOVIE TALKS ABOUT A WOMAN WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE AGAINST CHILDREN!

AND I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT CHRONICHLES OF NARNIA CAUSE THAT IS A WAR MOVIE AND THE MOVIE DID DESERVE A PG RATING.

Chronichles of Narnia had tons of cuts to it, and it wasn’t even presented as a horror movie.

so you’re point is MOOT and you sir are a fool.

OOH!!! HE CALLED YOU ARSENIO!!!